The cornfield mystery that’s engulfed a nation is over: Matt chose Brooke to be his bride on last night’s finale of Farmer Wants a Wife. It was a jolt to many, including Miss B, as runner-up Christa had earlier scored a fairy tale ride to Matt’s palatial homestead and seemed to jive with the bachelor personality-wise. Brooke was afraid to express her love for Matt, but he sensed it and realized their country backgrounds and strong Christian beliefs made them an ideal couple. The series was filmed last summer, and TV agreements have limited their contact until Farmer aired; but Matt’s MySpace blog indicates he is now ready to roll with their relationship, and Brooke’s new entry says she’s headed to Mizzourah! He could use two more hands to help fill sandbags, as the Midwest rains and Mississippi River flooding have swamped over a quarter of his family’s 2,000 acres. The Neustadts “basically lost everything we had on the farm” in the great flood of 1993, so this deluge just comes with the territory. As for the popular CW series, will there be a second edition? We hope so—maybe even with a twist borrowed from its overseas cousins. Recently in Belgium, Finland, France and Netherlands editions, the farmer is a woman; and in Australia, the cameras follow six farmers looking for love. A little creativity should keep this franchise fresh and appealing for years. And fans are already planting seeds for a big country wedding on TV.

And then there were two.  Farmer Wants a Wife bachelor Matt stunned the final four girls with a double-whammy elimination last night, sending home the sweet-but-less-countrified Amanda and the flirtatious Kanisha, who was pretty blunt in her farewell comments.  Arch-rivals Christa and Brooke are left to duke it out, and there’s no love lost between them.  Brooke calls her pierced nemesis “raunchy,” and Christa labels her young foe “all fluff.”  This episode began with a surprise visit from each of the beauties’ best friends; and Matt promptly put them all to work, whipping up a dinner for his extended family of 45.  Asked whether she could spot a farmer’s wife in the bunch, Matt’s mother said, “Absolutely, 100%.”  A group date on the water saw Christa reel in a catfish (the Farmer called being outfished by a lady “super-sexy”), before the four city gals somehow sunk their boat.  Later, Matt admitted feeling more of a connection to farm-raised Brooke, but he’s also clearly attracted to Christa, who he chose for the series’ first private date.  On next Wednesday’s climax, the town assembles to watch a cropduster flying a banner with the potential-bride’s name.  This race to the altar is too close to call.  Will Matt actually propose marriage?  And are the two girls ready to surrender life in the city for a buff guy on a tractor?  Click here, if you need to catch up on an episode before the exciting finale.  Vote for the city gal you think Matt should choose.  Plus, check out our fun downloads!

A creepy talent show.  A creepier hog roast.  And the creepiest elimination yet.  It all set the stage for local girl Ashley, a Chagrin Falls native, to ride off into the sunset, sans husband, on last night’s Farmer Wants a Wife.  It’s been clear for weeks that Ashley and Matt shared no chemistry—to the point, he actually asked if she found him attractive during a game of Truth or Dare.  Recapping this episode, the girls put on a talentless Talent Show for the longsuffering townsfolk.  Christa’s “little boy voice” rendition of Take Me Out to the Ballgame freaked me out.  Ashley followed with the world’s lamest joke and magic trick.  Kanisha and the hoola-hoop?  No comment.  Amanda passably crooned the National Anthem, and Brooke won over the country bumpkins by teaching them the Electric Slide line-dance.  On to the bonfire, where the whole piggy sizzled and Kanisha wanted the cook to break her off a piece of ear and snout to gnaw on.  Way to impress a guy!  Later, Brooke finally got her one-on-one date in a fishing boat, where some serious smoochin’ left her seeing little hearts.  To trim the field down to our Final Four, each city gal had to plunge her arm deep inside a cow’s backside and feel around for an unborn baby calf.  Yes, you read that right.  Only one of the heifers was not pregnant—Ashley’s—sending the outspoken quipster home with one last nightmare to ponder.  All four remaining girls have really fallen for Matt, and each would likely consider a proposal to become the Farmer’s Wife.  With only two weeks left, a heated exchange erupts when the ladies meet Matt’s entire family next Wednesday!

Unless it’s an alien crop circle, rarely do phenomenons occur in Midwest cornfields.  Then tanned-n-toned Matt Neustadt peeled off his shirt and invited ten Cosmo girls to a Missouri whistle stop of 351 to harvest his heart.  Yes, this Farmer Wants a Wife, and America is “sittin’ a spell” to watch it happen in unexpectedly high numbers.  Ratings have come so close to CW megahit Gossip Girl that even the national media has taken note.  Here in Cleveland, last Wednesday’s episode outranked each of the Top 10 metered TV markets nationwide!  What’s the draw?  Well, Farmer might be more relatable to families than Crowned or Pussycat Dolls competitions—though I enjoyed both—and barnyard romance is something you don’t find on Beauty & the Geek.  Too, Matt’s a favorite of several gals here in the office, so I have to think his charm and obvious smarts are another factor.  I mean, this guy is carrying the entire show without a host—no easy feat.  The challenges and country festivities (bingo, local fair, swimmin’ hole, a barn dance, pie-making) resonate with viewers, but several of the city girls got a rude awakening to the “simple life.”  Obnoxious Josie lasted only two unforgettable episodes, while Chagrin Falls native Ashley is still in the running.  Versions of this show are top-rated favorites overseas…and as Farmer Matt takes the next four weeks to corral a bride, we can only hope there’ll be future rounds of this down-home ditty.  Check below for Matt’s thoughts about each contestant, including one he says “is probably the best looking woman she’s ever seen in her life.”

Who doesn’t like a good scare?  That’s part of the fun The CW will serve up over the next three sunny months.  From director Sam Raimi, 13 is the first series “to take the horror movie into the reality world,” the network teases.  Contestants will face some frightening challenges in their quest for the $66,666 grand prize.  Casting calls were completed in mid-April, and filming was expected to take three weeks on the eight-episode thriller.  Look for a premiere date announcement in the near future.  Meanwhile, out on the prairie, the seven remaining city girls are stakin’ their claim to Matt on Farmer Wants a Wife.  He’s got five weeks to decide which of these feisty beauties (including Chagrin Falls’ Ashley) are suited for his green acres.  And, of course, Friday Night SmackDown is all new, all summer long on WBNX.  Did you miss an episode of your favorite series?  Most of our dramas and Sunday night comedies are hitting ‘reset,’ so you can catch up from the start of the season.  “The Summer of Geek” also kicks off Tuesday, with a replay of the series’ popular twist featuring hunky ‘beauty’ Sam and ‘geeky’ Nicole—plus the hilarious Jasmine!  Starting Wednesday, America’s Next Top Model relives tumultuous Cycle 9, as Ebony, Bianca, Heather & Co. mix it up again.  Those summer nights just got a little hotter.

Two of The CW’s best-ever drama queens were handed their walking papers last night.  One refused to walk.  Farmer Wants a Wife evictee Josie unloaded on country boy Matt—right in front of the stunned townies at bingo night.  Saying he wanted a female farmhand, not a wife, Josie yelled that he didn’t have anything to offer a girl…then declared she wasn’t leaving ‘til Matt gave her a “departing gift.”  The blubbery, unattractive blonde (who fancies herself “a 10-plus”) brought more laughs to a reality show than any contestant I can ever remember.  Josie’s views on politics, work, money, love, decorating, the elderly—well, just about anything—were so outrageous, she became the train wreck you couldn’t look away from.  Someone, please give this girl a weekly half-hour forum to voice her thoughts; it’ll be appointment TV for many.  America’s Next Top Model axed Columbus native Dominque, who made few friends with a pushy persona and third-person references to herself.  Some likened her strong facial features to a transvestite, but even Tyra admitted that as the weeks wore on, Dominique took some great photos.  Among the final four, arguments could be made that she was more attractive than plus-sizer Whitney, ultra-thin Fatima, and ditzy Anya.  But the Buckeye gal took her elimination with class, saying she felt like a winner for advancing this far.  Who will survive next week’s final TV commercial challenge?  My upset prediction: Whitney.          

Maybe it’s the sunny spring weather that teased us last week, or a love for the simple country life.  But I cannot wait for The CW’s campy new reality show, Farmer Wants a Wife, debuting in two weeks.  Our advance publicity materials include the awesome program opening, and I can’t recall any show theme that’s made me smile like this one.  It incorporates a female rap-crossover jingle, colorfully surreal backgrounds, a clear view of farmer Matt and his ten zany city gals, in a 30-second summary of the romantic competition.  We’ve also posted web interviews with each contestant, and one face may look familiar to NE Ohio friends:  Ashley is a native of Chagrin Falls!  She’s a cutie with common sense, in contrast to delusional (and hilarious) Josie, who believes the laid-back world of a farmer’s wife involves eating breakfast cooked by a maid, delegating work to hired hands, and “maybe playing with the animals.”  The series is a massive hit across Western Europe, and should strike a chord with our Midwest viewers.  Can one of these concrete jungle bachelorettes find love in the barnyard?  It’ll sure be fun to watch and see.

Among all networks, The CW may be the most equipped to endure the current work-stoppage by film and TV writers. Everybody Hates Chris began taping early this year due to its young star’s growth spurt, and they’ve completed all 22 episodes. The other Monday comedies are also far ahead in production, says Variety, and new sitcom Eight Days a Week—with Justin Hartley, Mario Lopez and Christina Milian—has 13 episodes ready for midseason. On the drama side, One Tree Hill has a good portion of its 22 episodes (or scripts) ready to roll in January; Smallville will have seven new stories to air after tomorrow night; and Supernatural has four more in the can—with another five scripts ready to shoot, according to the LA Times. Gossip Girl producer Josh Schwartz says the hit soap has five fresh hours completed, following tonight’s jaw-dropper, while Friday Night SmackDown is new every week and not affected by the writers strike. Where The CW is especially strong, however, is in popular reality series…five, to be exact. New cycles of Top Model and Beauty & The Geek are in the works, along with season two of Pussycat Dolls, in which they’ll be assembling a brand new group. The mother-daughter beauty pageant show, Crowned, looks hilarious (click here for a preview); and you can scroll down a bit to read about Farmer Wants a Wife—a must-see for NE Ohio cowpokes. Nobody likes a strike, especially the talented folks carrying picket signs in freezing temperatures, but we’ll get thru it on-air…hopefully without missing a beat.

I love it when stories just fall in your lap. I got an email this week from a friend of a girl I went to high school with. She said we have to watch The CW’s midseason reality show, Farmer Wants a Wife, because our mutual gal-pal appears on it! Because of strict confidentiality agreements, our friend is saying nothing—just smiling. But I dug up some local press, and learned that the series was shot in a small historic Missouri town of roughly 350 people, and that my friend is married to the mayor and lives next-door to the hunky farmer who is seeking a bride! Talk about a weird coincidence. The show is a mix of The Bachelor and The Simple Life, with a string of city babes competing for the heart of a farmer described in the newspaper as “handsome, deeply tanned, personal, articulate and polite.” He was voted Prom King and “Most Desired” in his senior year. Needless to say, the network exposure has the tiny rumor-riddled town abuzz. The CW hasn’t announced a premiere date yet, but it could be as early as January. Green Acres, we are there.